Sweet Sacrament, we thee adore. Oh, make us love thee more and more.
That was the song that was playing when I went up to receive the Eucharist for the first time in over 6 months. I stood in line with my mask on, six feet back from the person in front of me, waiting in anticipation. After receiving, I returned to my pew and the tears started flowing.
I went back to Mass for the first time in 4 months since our state shut down back in March because of COVID-19. It was the first time in 8 months I'd received the Eucharist. Prior to Covid I didn't feel like I was in a state of grace to receive and needed to go to confession.
It was an extra special Mass for me, because it was on my husband and I's wedding anniversary, July 19. We went back to the church we got married in six years ago. There was adoration before Mass started and they offered confession beforehand as well.
Mass is hard for my family. I have three young children who don't understand the beauty of the Mass yet. My oldest son has autism. He actually likes the music and is happy at church. My middle son has had a lot of behavior problems during church in the past. And my daughter is still too young to know what's going on.
If I'm being honest, the time away from church has been a nice break for my family. Believe me, I completely missed being with God at church and the Eucharist. But I didn't miss taking my son out five or six times or chasing my daughter around. Those parts are hard. Sometimes I even wonder if it counts, because I'm unable to pay attention.
I felt bad during this time we didn't go to Mass. I know there's no obligation right now, but I thought my feelings of liking the break were bad. And watching it on TV didn't do anything for husband and I, so we stopped. We needed to go back to church. Four months is way too long to be away. We missed it. It was time. It needed to happen. My parents had our kids for our anniversary weekend, so we thought this was a good time to start back.
I cried when I returned to my pew, because that song was perfect in that moment. Between having Jesus inside me and that song playing, I couldn't help myself. What a beautiful song to come back to Mass to. The Eucharist is such a sweet sacrament. I had been longing for it before and during Covid, and I finally had it. It was such a beautiful moment I had with Jesus.
I did go to confession before Mass, so to have adoration and the two sacraments of Reconciliation and the Eucharist all in one Mass was the perfect way to come back. Plus the graces after receiving was wonderful.
My family as a whole has been to church twice together since then and it's been really good. They're loud in a happy way, but not melting down or throwing fits. It's been really good and I pray this is the start to better times at church for my children. They belong there and need this just as much as I do.
Kate lives in Colorado with her husband and three children. You can read her writing at her blog This Special Journey.